On the 11th September, 2001, one of the most horrific events I have ever known took place in New York.  This pastel is in memory of all those who died and my heart goes out to all the families of those whose lives were so cruelly taken.  On the 14th September, 2001 I attended the service at St Paul's Cathedral in London, England along with thousands of others.  After the service I wrote a piece about it to friends of mine who live in America.

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I have just got back from St Paul's Cathedral. I watched the Prime Minister
this morning live on TV talking heavily about war and left just a few minutes
later for St Paul's. I was in front of the Cathedral for the service that was
also broadcast on speakers outside to the thousands of us present.
To my right, a large, Union Jack hung proudly from a building, as I stood just
behind a guy who held up a large flag of Stars and Stripes on behalf of so many
people. Two flags together, and so many nations of faces with them, all
colours, all religions, all looking for answers.

It was extremely moving. The atmosphere was one of sadness, fear, confusion
and as the three minute silence took over the whole of London even the birds
seemed to be still. There was no noise, and no movement other than that of
people wiping their eyes.

As the loud, God-like voice from all directions told us to remember all those
who had died - the victims, the families, the rescuers - a jumbo jet flew over
head, a cruel and timely reminder, there were many tears.

I thought of my friend and those first, shock filled moments when she called me
hysterical and almost inaudible, sick with worry as her daughter's Godfather worked
in the Twin Towers. I remembered turning on the news immediately to see live, a
second plane crash into the second tower and being physically sick. I thought
of my young daughters and the world they are growing up in....I thought of my
daughters teacher, who's family and friends are still missing who also worked in the
Towers. I thought of my friend in the States who'd lost 30 friends and
associates from the Towers also....and another close friend here at home,
calling me yesterday as she returned home from her holiday, in tears for
support because a personal friend of hers was on the plane that crashed into
the Pentagon. As I looked up at the plane above I could hear screaming in my
head as I imagined the fear of all those who have died, and along with
thousands of others,...I choked on the tears that couldn't be held in any
longer.

I don't think I've ever felt so helpless, and yet never have I felt so 'at one'
with so many.

The American National Anthem was sung, something I've never sung before myself
but at that moment, it was my Anthem too, words so defiant and strong...Prayers and
Hymns were sung, and people from all nations held their heads up high to sing the
words "Glory, glory Halleluiah".. as the truth came marching home....
 

The national Anthem, again, sung by all, as our Queen came out, everyone there
together bringing home the reality of what had begun, and what was only just
beginning.

But none of it was about 'our countries' this time... this time it was very
much about 'our world'.

A world that suddenly terrifies me, yet as I looked around at all the faces,
the thousands upon thousands of expressionate faces that enveloped me, I
realised it was also a world full of strength, dignity, and love.

During the last minute of silence, a breeze blew past a nearby sycamore tree
releasing a handful of seeds that flew gently over us like little mini
helicopters.... the gentle seeds of hope.

God bless,

all my love,
an English friend,
tracie..x

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After the service there was so much emotion inside of me and so many unanswered questions, though one that cried out over and over again was 'How?'
I began work on the pastel which shows an eye, yours...mine...the person next to you...looking up at the towers as they were hit.  The back of a fireman's head is also reflected in the eye as he looks up in disbelief just as we all did.  Four small white angelic figures represent each of the planes that were brought down that day.  It was my own way of expressing the deep shock and sadness I felt along with people around the world, and again, one question.

How.